JOKE #1: GOING TO DAN'S HOUSE
once, when i was a tiny little 3 year old, i went over my friend dan's house. He had some little toys that said something when you pressed a button. i picked up a cowboy toy. when i pressed the button, it started to repeatedly say "I'm a racist! Yee-haw! I'm a racist! Yee-haw!" I didn't like that, so i threw it out the window. Then, I found a gene simmons, (the guy from KISS, you know, that band), doll. When I pressed the button, it started to scream really, really, LOUD! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-AHHH!" It went. I didn't like that, so i threw it out the window. then, I found a telletubbies doll. i pressed the button on it, and it said "Bite my butt, Bite my butt." so, i followed the simple instructions. I bit it's butt. It didn't taste good, so I threw it out the window. then, i went up to dan. "Dan, you have got some pretty horrible toys." i said. then, i took dan, and threw him out the window.
JOKE #2:
GEORGE W. BUSH AS A LITTLE BOY
George Bush was a very happy little boy. he would play with his friends, and this particular day,
they were playing cowboy. "bang, bang, bang!" cried George happily, as his fingers made a gun shape. "bang, bang, bang!" Then, he jumped out from behing a rock, and narrowly missed an imaginary bullet that was shot from one of his other friends. then, his hard hit against something cold, and hard... marble. George woke up. everyone in the audience that was supposed to be listening to his speech were staring at him, and wondered why, right in the middle of a speech, he suddenly fell asleep and started acting like a little boy.
JOKE # 3 (the final joke):
MY DOG
once, i had a dog. he was a dumb dog, but he was still cute. one day, he wandered into a science lab by mistake. he found a formula, and drank it. then, he suddenly became giant, and broke out in giant red spots, and his eyes started glowing red. Then, dinosaur claws grew out of his body, and mucus started to repeatedly flow from his nostrils. he broke out of the science lab, and started crushing buildings, and took a woman, and crushed her to bits.... but he was still cute.
